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The Mystic Twins
Scott Petullo and Stephen Petullo
   
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July 2, 2010
 
Subject:
3 Common, Yet Terrible Reasons For
Seeking or Remaining in a Relationship

Almost everyone hopes and strives for a long-
term relationship, but few are ever able to
find and cement a mutually satisfying,
compatible bond that lasts the rest of their
lives. Those who place great importance on
the fantasy of permanent, romantic bliss may
see this as a tragedy, but we believe that’s
an erroneous, dysfunctional perspective.

Short-term relationships end for various
reasons, including people changing and
evolving or regressing at different rates over
time, the shattering of illusions resulting in
broken alliances, and “good” and “bad”
love karma and personal timing: most
connections, we have discovered in our
work, have destined beginning and ending
times.

There are many reasons couples stay
together for longer periods of time, but we’ve
found, generally, that there are four main
categories of people who seek or remain in
a longer-term relationship, which include
three terrible reasons for doing so.

1) Singles seeking financial security or
couples who can’t afford to break up yet. It’s
common for couples to remain together
because creating a second household would
be too expensive. The divorce rate during the
recent economic downturn has decreased,
and reduced incomes is the number one
reason.

All facades aside, financial security as the
primary motivation for entering a relationship
makes the connection a business relationship,
not a love relationship. Adherents to the
traditional American marriage model and
those with a sense of entitlement deny it and
express outrage when we point it out, but this
sort of arrangement is essentially matrimonial
prostitution. Please note, we believe how
anyone chooses to live their love life is their
business (not the government’s, and not
society’s), unless they are being dishonest
and, or using or abusing someone. We’re
just calling it like we see it.

2) Those who are afraid of change, being
single or alone, or are seeking happiness
outside of themselves. These types will
wait it out until they are forced to change, or
they will end up feeling alone and isolated,
even while in a relationship, because of their
fear.

3) Those who feel a marriage or long-term
relationship is a requirement to be a good
parent. Unfortunately, a bad relationship will
take the focus off a child and all will suffer in
the process. Because of this, we recommend
a child contract (which protects the child
along with the primary caretaker) instead of
a marriage contract.

4) And finally, most couples get married
assuming they have what it takes to remain
together, but then realize months or years
later they lack the most important element,
which happens to be metaphysically oriented:
The good love karma of their predestined life
circumstances that allows them to experience,
for the most part, a harmonious, happy, long-
term relationship. We estimate this is only
about 15% of the population.

Is there something wrong with you if you
don’t experience a rewarding longer-term or
life-long relationship? It’s easy to think so if
you get caught up in what you are “supposed
to do” as a “normal” member of society.

Great importance is placed on life-long
relationships. This is unfortunate since
everyone has many soul mates and what is
learned from a relationship is more important
than its duration. Just because it ended
doesn’t mean it “failed.”

If you aren’t involved in an ideal, longer-term
relationship, don’t fret. Perceptions and
expectations about the way love lives
“should” be cause more misery than almost
any other issue.

Instead of comparing yourself with those who
seem to have what you’d like (remember,
appearances can be very deceiving) and
generating regret and despair, accept where
you are, be grateful for all you have such as
relationships with friends and family, learn to
love yourself and occasional solitude, and
refuse to buy into romantic fairytales.
 
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Stephen Petullo
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